Testo I know my name Jandek

I know my name

Take this big picture away
I want to be with the little things
Pain and suffering anguish is my name
just call me anything
but I know my name
I came to deliver a what you want
This pain and anguish
I sat at your door
"Hello my darling, why don't you let me in?"
Thank you, thank you
I know you'll love me
And I love, I learned to love you
because I had no choice.
You got me in mold
and you, I got no choice
and I don't want one
because I choose you
and that's my choice
because you love me
Pain, dark and misery
I want to be with little things
please take this big picture away from me
Take it back from where it cameLet it crawl on the floor and find those little things
Like a ray of sunshine at the end of the day
and good night all of you folks
I'm off to a dream where it dances and plays
and sways.
The change of those little things
You thought you saw it bright and hard
You steeled it down cast your eyes about
I done conquered this thing
what's next on the list
Come on you big things
and establish a jungle all around your site
Nothing can really bind you
You'll kill it first
I love you my darling
You know my name
You don't want to get away
you got where you're going
It's the step into space
You know you can't refuse
There is no doubt
and it sparkles like light
bouncing off the silver metal on the table
in the big picture with red and blue and green and black
I'm back at this table
and I'm gambling with you
But you're not even here
I lose if I don't win
and I always liked losing because
sometimes later you get to beat yourself again
say "Hi, how'd you do self Yeah I remember you
we went through many places
If we went or didn't go
You win"
I always lose because I love to lose
Someone's got to be on the other side of a got to win
Maybe we're left and right
I got to losin if you don't make me lose
then you're the same as me
you got to lose and
hey we can lose together
Let's lose everything and go away
we'll be real lost
and if that's your thing
You lost and so did I
We lost together
Now we're both more lost yeah
I'm so lost you can't find me
There's no other souls in this epiphany
So I'm gambling your fictitious
Mr. Gambling
Please meet Mrs. Fictitious
We'll curse the world yeah...
curse you world
You brought me so low today I'm happy to curse you world
Get the hints from me
and don't put me in no black suit
I ain't building no barns
You can keep your animals
But put me dark and evil
and I forget about you
the bad things got me when I went their way
And all I screech from so within
that you can't hear me
And I so like my pain and forget about everything
the universe is gone
It's stopped the time and I escape into the little world
where there's nothing else
I have no responsibilities
It's just money and things
and I hate most of the day
But when the sun goes down
I get a life
The afterglow of the day
I got enough pain without my body
I throw my body away and make it a slave to me
I got a body for a slave
It do what I want
it doesn't think
It so don't feel like you're lost now
because I found you
and I put you up on my thumbs
our eyes are dancing in the late day sun
and you are getting aggressive
and you know me
I'm dead
Take this big picture away
I want to be with the little things
Pain and suffering anguish is my name
Just call me anything
but I know my name
I came to deliver what you want
This pain and anguish
I sat at your door
"Hello darling, won't you let me in
thank you thank you I know you love me"
and I love
I learned to love you
because I had no choice
You got me involved in you
I got no choice
and I don't want one
Because I choose you
and that's my choice
because you love me
Pain dark and misery
Down down down down down
I won't stop going down
and wherever you are
you got to know I'm here
down at the bottom
I'm here so if you visit me
you've got to be down at the bottom too
What you doing here?
This is my place
Why did you disturb me?
I'm lying so low
I don't want you to find me now
What do I do?
I feel so naked
But you still got your clothes on
You got me stripped to my skin
I've never felt so apparent
Like a mirror you see
I can't get away from this world
At least once every three million years
But I'm here now, take advantage me now
If you don't I'll be away so fast
I'm gone on my last dream
I'm
I'm conscious right now
saying thank you for blackness and the gone gone world
It was the Frenchman and the Indian they said
"Hello, how are you, I give you my world"
Let's play the sand and water and forest
We welcome you here, take my daughter
and marry her
The seed was planted that got me into this world
I use electricity just like you do
But the treatment has got me fast falling into you
I'm so happy to fall
I hope I never rise
What's going down is my joyful ride
and I've been walking for decades
Pain is such a relief and I'm feeling better now
that I'm hurt so bad
Just leave me alone for a thousand years
I'll make myself whole
but I'll take my time
You had your enjoyment
now I'll have mine
I feel happy without you
The pain is just fine
Because I found someone who loved that pain
and I gave it to her
Now she's infected with the pain
that goes round
And when you share it
thank god for this pain
I thank God for my stupidity which brings me pain
I love my pain
It gives me my name
But the light that still flickers
is still there when you're gone
I flicker in that light